Saturday, July 18, 2009

I swear I'm not "emo"

... I just have too much time to think.

I've been home all night, thinking about my life and the recent events that have happened. Events might be too strong of a word. More like, happenings or drawn out nothings. I actually don't think I have ever been alone this long before. It may just seem long because it's such a tiny apartment, but even at home there is always someone coming in and out or a dog that's sleeping in the corner. It's strange because I know I have friends and family who love me, but you can only call your mom a certain number of times a day before it gets excessive and sad. So, when I've exhausted all my phone call options, I just sit. Go to work. Make dinner. Watch online TV. Sleep. And do it all over again. If this is any indication of what is in store for me after I graduate, I've got a lot to figure out before then. Not to mention, the past two romantic prospects I had in mind both crashed and burned... I'm thinking it's time for a resurgence.

I recently watched Hitch with the sexy Will Smith, and I noticed that a lot of movies have that theme of "girl that is so centered around her career that she builds a wall up and no man can break it down." I've probably seen close to 5. Ironically, I've never really met that girl, and I've definitely never been that girl. It's supposed to be a flaw of hers I suppose, but in some respects, it's admirable. You are so successful at your career and so independent that you aren't worried about your inferior romantic life. It might be my age, and the fact that no one has a career yet, but most girls I know are currently involved or single and ready to mingle (including me). But, I think it's definitely time to try a new approach. Even though I have appreciated the time I've spent at my job this summer, I'm not sure it's the right career path for me. So instead of falling into a rut, being a mediocre employee at a mediocre job next year, I'm going to really focus hard on creating opportunities and experiences that will catapult me into a job I really love. I want to thrive off of my work and get things done. I'm so ready. Bring it on.

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